Kate's Point of View

I have long professed my love of the infomercial and I often come this close to ordering something before I regain my senses. Some items, though, are just too ridiculous. The most recent absurd item for I saw for sale? The Forever Lazy. Apparently this item has been on the market for a while. But it’s a new one for me.

The Forever Lazy is like a Snuggie taken to a whole new level of weird. It’s essentially a onesie for adults. To wear out in public. Whaaat? It’s like having little kid footed pajamas for adults (which would be awesome to sleep in) only the Forever Lazy isn’t full-footed. It comes with matching footies.

So all of this strikes me as silly but not a big deal. Certainly not worth commenting on. But wait! There’s more! The Forever Lazy is more convenient that most bodysuits you wear out in public because it contains both a front slot and a back flap to make things easier if you have to go to the bathroom. Whaaaaaat?

Scenario: You’re out tailgating before a football game (a situation the website for the Forever Lazy seems to suggest would be a perfect use for this product) and suddenly you stomach cramps up. You have a stomach virus. But you’re wearing your Forever Lazy. There is No Way At All for that situation to end well.

For entertainment only, I suggest you watch the promotional video for the Forever Lazy. I wouldn’t recommend getting one, unless, of course, you’re willing to send me a picture of yourself in it. I could always use a good laugh.

I got to spend several days after the holidays relaxing and it was glorious. I had time to read several books, see some movies and look at ridiculous things online.

• I got some very exciting news this week and learned that one of my siblings got engaged to someone I absolutely love! Two siblings with upcoming nuptials! It makes some of the wedding things I’ve been seeing a little more interesting, like this packaging idea for some bridal gifts.
• I’ve been overwhelmed lately by all of the great photography I’ve been seeing. National Geographic shared a picture of a beluga whale as one of the best pictures of 2011. I have to agree! Citizen Pork shared some information about the photographer Michael Wilson, who is a great Cincinnati treasure. Then I saw a stunning picture of NYC Grand Central Station – the light is amazing.
• I love, love, love Thursdays on Design Sponge when the post there Before and Afters. So fun! One was posted this week of a facelift given to a dresser and the end result was wonderful.
• A few days before Christmas, Rare Bird Finds posted a hysterical shirt with a flying squirrel on it. There are some things that take no thought. I saw it and knew Wonder Boy had to have it! Coincidentally, it arrived on the day we exchanged gifts!

The other day I went to the mall. I really don’t like malls. The crowds. The people walking slow. Paying retail. But I needed some updates for my wardrobe, so I went.

I chose a different mall then the suburban hell one I normally go to and was grateful that it was less crowded. Unfortunately I didn’t know it as well so I shopped for about an hour having to go to the bathroom the whole time.

When I headed home I still had to go to the bathroom but the drive would be short. No worries. Ha!

About 10 minutes into my 15 minute drive, traffic stopped. Like we all turned off our cars stopped. Like I got the book out of my trunk and was reading on the highway. I tried so hard to immerse myself in my book. I tried to distract myself from the bladder I knew was about to explode. No go.

I started plotting how I could pee. The side of the highway offered to place to hide. I had no container in my car in which to go. I needed to be creative.

In my trunk I had my shopping bags from the mall and a bunch of reusable grocery bags. I decided that I could pee into a plastic bag from the mall that was inside a reusable grocery bag for added security. This is how desperate I was.

I had everything set. I was seconds from putting my plan into motion. Not even that long. Then I saw the woman in the car behind me get out and I tried to act cool. She came to my car window.

“The high way is opening up,” she tells me. (Do you think from her perch in her SUV she could see what I was about to do???)

Ten minutes later I got to use a real bathroom and it was fabulous.

Lessons learned? ALWAYS go to the bathroom if you need to go. You never know when your next chance might be.