I was driving home from my parents house in Fletcher, Ohio (just east of nowhere) and noticed this sign.
I thought we were supposed to encourage children to attend school. I bet in Kentucky, “Where Education Pays,” they don’t tell small children to KEEP OUT.
In the last month I have seen all sorts of old friends – people that I often see once a year tops. So you can image the number of walk I have taken down memory lane. Apparently though, I have been more stumbling than walking because dear God I have drank more beer this month than I have since that quarter in college where Movie and I spent a few too many nights each with our own pitchers…
Visit one was with Delicious in DC where he and his lady showed Wonder Boy and I a fabulous time. Now Delicious has requested a post about the visit but I don’t know what to focus on but him and it will sound sentimental and sappy. But since he asked for it, here it goes.
So Delicious has this gal and they live in sin but that’s cool. I have met her but always in passing or at very hectic events like weddings. So it was fabulous to spend more time with them and get to know how very cool she is. But for one thing. She has convinced Delicious that Miller Light is bad. WTF??? The Decliious I know LIKES Miller Light. And I know for a fact that we CHOSE to drink Miller Light and not only in college but out of college too. And I still like it, damn it, and will defend it. So there. Aside from this new girlfriend-inspired beer snobbery (I swear I think she’s awesome.) Decliious is turning into a full-fledged adult. Freaks me out.
The visit to DC for the first weekend off from the foster dogs and my embracing of beer on the trip I thought was inspired by being on vacation. After I came home I realized that the dogs were driving me to drink. And lose five pounds. It turns out that having those pups drove me so crazy I lost weight without trying, but it’s not a diet I would recommend. At least not without lots of Prozac.
Visit number two was to Chicago where I visited with three friends from high school. Right before Wonder Boy and I left, the dogs were sent somewhere else. Now that might have given me a chance to stop drinking, but honestly I had to drink to celebrate. We stayed with Mart Girl and with her I give myself permission to be a girl. That’s right, I get very girly and I don’t do that with anyone else. Maybe my sisters, but that’s different. So in Chicago we drank and ate a LOT of good food. Seeing Mart Girl was wonderful because she is all done with school now which means she has a job which means she has money. Hanging out with your friend while they are poor and then later when they have money is great because its such a damn transformation.
Then this week I don’t even know what happened but I had happy hours every night and last night I visited with my favorite and only Iowan friend, Iowa, and a bunch of people from work and we had so much fun over beers and I am not going to lie – I am hung over today. But motherhood and an Iowa address have changed Billie. Back in the day I used to, in an effort to be nice, pick a piece of fuzz of her shirt or something and she would kind of freak out because I had touched her. Then last night she HUGGED me. No shit.
The end result of all of this is that I miss my friend more than when I visited with them because I remember how much fun they are. And I have a very high tolerance and need to start a serious detoxification program.
This weekend Wonder Boy and I headed north to Chicago. As luck would have it, three of the maybe five people I keep in touch with from high school all live there. It makes for fun times and cheap accommodations. It’s also the only environment where I turn straight up girl and revert back to catty gossip and exclamations of Nuh-uh! and, mostly to mock Mart Girl, Hey Chica!
The weekend was filled with lots of good ethnic food, some shopping and catching up. On Saturday night we headed out to the Cubby Bear, across from Wrigley Field. It was packed, as well it should have been. After all, the beer was relatively cheap, the DJ was spinning good cuts and the opening act for the evening’s cover band was Dustin Diamond.
You’re probably sitting there thinking “Dustin Diamond? Sounds familiar…” And it should. You grew up watching him every Saturday play Screech on Saved by the Bell. Apparently his post TV days are occupied with stand up comedy now. And wow. Talk about trying hard to not be Screech.
Diamond spent a little too much time trying to convince the audience that he was cool (“Trust the Dust”) and that he was funny (“People in Miami laughed at that!”). In addition, he is obsessed with doing girls in the butt. Obsessed I say! He also seems to have an odd preoccupation with old ladies’ cooters. (That’s right, I said cooters. But I think that is a much nicer word that calling them grilled cheese sandwiches.)
It was worth the $10 to see Diamond because of the jealousy it will cause for my sister. And because it was funny to say I was 20 feet from Screech. But hearing him say things like, “Oh, trust me, I will make you Screech” in a pervy way… Let’s just say I have a whole new perspective on my childhood Saturday mornings.
 Then… Definitely not getting any from Lisa |
 Now… Not getting any from anyone |
I have never thought I have ϋber-cool music taste to qualify as a music snob. That said, I have always defended my musical tastes. And openly mocked others, of course, for bad song selection. (For instance, Miami by Will Smith is NOT a cool song. Sorry.) Until now.
The other day my BF and I were heading out to take advantage of some post-holiday sales at the mall and I had to run up to my apartment to grab something. He asked me to get a CD to listen to in the car. Because I think I am funny, I instead went for my high school spring break mix tape. Upon reaching the car I realized I had accidentally gotten a mix tape from a spring break trip in 1998 where I went on a work trip to Alabama. (Can you tell I was big on mix tapes back in the day?)
Now I remember that Alabama work trip and the reaction my mix tape received from fellow travelers. Their reaction was full of mockery, as a recall. And at the time I was indignant. Indignant, I say! After all, I had out some choice items on the mixes (yes, there were two –- part one and part two) and was willing to share them with the group while we cooked our communal dinners. If you don’t bring music to share, then I don’t think you are in a place to mock other people. Right?
Man oh man. So the BF and I were in the car listening to the tape and wow. I am no position to make fun of mix tapes that always contain at least one instance of Miami. See below for a play list I KNOW you are going to want to steal for your next party.
By the way, I still defend the inclusion of Oochie Coochie. That is a damn good song.
Reasons why spending December 1 in Miami, Florida, is better than in Cincinnati, Ohio:
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