Kate's Point of View

When you share a picture of yourself on social media, you select one that presents you in the best way. Where you look the cutest, where your adventure looks the most epic, where your skills, friends and life look the best.

When you keep up with current events, you make choices about where to get your news. You choose who is the most credible and whose perspective you care about.

As you select who to follow, friend and connect with on social media, or who to block and unfollow, you influence what stories you’ll have access to.

All of these choices are a form of curation. On the one hand, it’s positive. We have choice. We are presented with many options and that access expands our knowledge and power. But what are the downsides of curation?

In Hello, Sunshine, Laura Dave makes the case for curation slowly chipping away at what is true. What you carefully select what photos you share, who you tag and what conversations you join, you’re making choices about how to present yourself. And while your choices might be flattering, are they the real you? As you create your digital persona, does it come at a loss? When you make choices to consume news that validates your existing opinions, are you learning or digging into a false construct?

Hello, Sunshine was, if I’m being completely honest, sort of awful. It’s about an unlikable person doing unlikeable things with other unlikeable people. But, it did get me thinking about the cost of my curated life.

Here are some quotes from Hello, Sunshine that resonated with me:

“He was hoping that I’d remember who I used to be. You know, before the world was watching and I lost it.”

“It?”

“Me.”

I’d spent so much time playing make-believe, I’d lost the thread between who I used to be and the person I’d been presenting to the world. How do you begin to trace it back to when everything you did wasn’t a perfectly calibrated extension of who you thought you were supposed to be.

That was the cost of my curated life. I had no clue where I’d gotten lost.

“Are you Sunshine Mackenzie? The Sunshine? Like … of A Little Sunshine?”

“Maybe.”

“Maybe?” Her smile disappeared. “Well, either you are or you aren’t.”

It seemed like a smart thing to say, except it wasn’t true. We are and we aren’t. We try and we fail. We tell the truth and then we lie. We want to be a part of things so badly that we’ll pretend to be anyone to get into the room. And pretend to be someone else just to stay there. We want to be seen and we want people to guess. We want them to understand. We want to be forgiven. We forgive ourselves. We start again.

Have you ever read a book that you didn’t like but which got you thinking in a way that you did?

I associate Summertime with very specific things:

• Fresh vegetables from my garden or local farmer’s market
• Weekend walks downtown with frequent stops added in to explore new places
• Trips to the pool where the smell of chlorine and the sounds of splashing makes everything okay
• Ending hot days on a porch swing with a book in my lap and a beer in my hand

With long days and my favorite kind of weather – hot – I spend as little time as possible at my computer. This means I have a lot of reading under my belt and so many books to tell you about. There were some duds that landed on my reading list, so I’ll skip those.

Organized by how I read them, here is how I’ve spent a lot of June and July:

1984 by George Orwell

The problem with missing out on what is typically required reading in high school is that when you finally get around to reading a book a classic book, you miss out on the expert guidance and interpretation of a great teacher.  When I told people I was starting George Orwell’s classic 1984, they told me not to. They said that in our current state of political affairs, it would freak me out. What does it say that it didn’t?

There was one section of the book that did sort of get me thinking. In the dystopian world described in 1984, there is a perpetual war underway, and this war is necessary to maintain balance, economy and progress. Orwell explains that the war is over the “disputed area,” which encompasses much of Africa because it is a source of slave labor and natural resources. This rings too true to me. If ever there were a resource-rich area of our world that was constantly being battled over, you would have to call out Africa, right? I’ve gone down some wormholes of conspiracy theory that I won’t go into…

I’m glad I read this book. I still wish I had read it in school, but better late than never.

The Rules Do Not Apply by Ariel Levy

A recent cat-sitting gig earned me a fresh stack of books, including an advance copy of The Rules Do Not Apply by Ariel Levy. While I likely would not have picked this book up otherwise, I’m glad I read it. Levy is a writer for The New Yorker and she knows how to tell a good story. I liked that she was willing to be really honest, which oftentimes presenting herself in not the best light.

The Rules Do Not Apply is the story of Levy’s first marriage, how she briefly became a mother and how her life fell apart. Cheery stuff, right? It offers some interesting commentary about motherhood and where we do and don’t have control, as well as insight into the different roles of women and career.

Levy was a guest on a recent episode of Fresh Air, where she discussed this book with Terri Gross. She makes some interesting comments about feminism and shares the true ending to her own story, which isn’t included in the book. There are spoilers, but it’s worth a listen:

Standard Deviation by Katherine Heiny

This book was also a reward for cat-sitting and one I only picked up because the cover art was quirky. The story Katherine Heiny shares in Standard Deviation is equal parts odd and funny. Told from the perspective of Graham Cavanaugh, it’s about his relationships with his first and second wives and his son Matthew. My favorite parts were all focused on Matthew and his forays into a local origami club, who takes their interest in origami very seriously.

The reviews I’ve read of this book are pretty mixed, but I liked it. I enjoyed reading how Graham described his complicated relationship with his pretty awful-sounding wives and how he explains his struggles raising a child with special needs.

Evicted: Poverty and Profit in the American City by Matthew Desmond

Falling squarely into my Read Harder category is Evicted: Poverty and Profit in the American City by Matthew Desmond. This 2017 Pulitzer Prize winning book explores eviction culture, which is not a phrase I’m familiar with but which totally makes sense. Just like poverty begets poverty, so does a cycle of evictions beget more of the same.

In Evicted, Desmond explores the relationship between evictions and poverty. His research included living in a trailer park, shadowing landlords and in-depth interviews. The end result will change the language future researchers will use when talking to people about evictions.

This book is at times very hard to read, but moves long more quickly than you might think. Desmond focuses on eight families and two landlords. The backgrounds of each is very different, spanning age and race, which helps make the stories more universally applicable. While the focus is Milwaukee, it’s easy to make connections to any other city.

By reading this book, you will get a new understanding of poverty and economic exploitation.

Beartown by Frederik Backman

Frederik Backman is one of the authors whose books I will always check out. They are rich on character development and deep backstories. For his past few books, I’ve listened versus read them. Joan Walker did the audio for both Britt-Marie Was Here and My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She’s Sorry, and she’s wonderful. Her accents! So good. After confirming that Beartown was read by someone else, I moved to the paper version. It’s been nice moving back and forth between format, letting me see how it changes the experience.

I was most taken with how Backman describes community, values and culture: “What is a community? It is the sum total of our choices.” And “values is the fact that we trust each other. That we love each other.” And “culture is as much about what we encourage as what we actually permit.” Isn’t that beautiful? I like it as a way to frame what’s happening in the world. If you look outside and don’t like what you see, you get to make a choice. Are you choosing to let it remain that way? Are you permitting behavior you don’t like? Because you get to help co-create your community and what you see is as much the result of your actions as your inaction.

A Piece of the World by Christina Baker Kline

Every piece of art has a back story. Be it a picture, a song, a vase or a photograph – the finish piece is influenced by a story. In A Piece of the World, Christina Baker Kline shares the back story to Christina’s World, a painting by Andrew Wyeth. Heavily researched, though slightly fictionalized, A Piece of the World  is the story of Christina Olson. Her life is very much confined both by geography and physical ability. Aside from a few brief trips outside of town, Christina spends most of her life on her family farm. An incapacitating illness makes everyday tasks difficult. Despite this small space in which she lives, or maybe because of it, Christina becomes very close friends with artist Andrew Wyeth, who later paints a picture of her.

That much plot summary is enough, I think, for you to look at Wyeth’s painting with a new set of eyes. And the more f this story that you read, the more you will be able to read into the painting. Just this one painting had so much back story. And if you assume even half as much inspiration behind other pieces of art, than there are so many more incredible stories to be told.

Theft by Finding: Diaries 1977-2002 by David Sedaris

I love David Sedaris. I have read all his books and many of his essays. I go out of my way to listen to and watch interviews with him and will happily recommend his books. I hope that establishes my admiration of him so what I write next won’t be interpreted as dislike. You have to really like Sedaris to be into Theft by Finding: Diaries 1977-2002. I enjoyed it, but think it also felt like a lot of inside baseball. Like, I was able to connect certain entries with other events, but read as a book straight through… without any knowledge of the author and his life… It would just be a harder read. So if you love Sedaris, check this out. Otherwise, go read one of his other books.

The Reason You’re Alive by Matthew Quick

When I saw that Matthew Quick was coming out with a new book, I preordered it, which I do not do often. I’ve written before about how I love his writing and the way he is able to depict mental illness and mental quirk (not the same thing, I know) in a way that is both funny and respectful. It’s a gift.

What I enjoyed about The Reason You’re Alive is that the main character, David Granger, reminded me of a good friend who is polar opposite of me in terms of his political beliefs. We don’t ever talk about politics, or anything tangentially related to them, because we disagree so vehemently. Reading things from Granger’s point of view was nice because, while I thought most of what came out of his mouth was offensive, the Quick was able to write it in such a way that I could see the good in the person and even the logic behind some of the beliefs with which I disagree. I laughed out loud at several point and thoroughly enjoyed this book.

At Home in the World by Tsh Oxenreider

This book is the story of how Tsh Oxenreider and her family traveled the world over the course of nine months. I enjoyed it more for the thinking it got me doing on my own travel then for the actual story, but that contemplation is worth four stars.

When I saw the table of contents and that she visited 19 countries in nine months, I cringed a little. It seemed so American, and not in a good way. More like a “let’s go on a 10 country tour of Europe in one week” approach to traveling. It’s been in resistance to that approach that I have developed my own style of travel, which is slower and tries to me more immersive. The only place where I didn’t feel like I was being forced acknowledge my own pudginess was in the Oxenreiders’ approach to Arica. Those chapters were hard for me to read. The second largest continent didn’t get much love from their travel itinerary. The logic for their choices was … logical, and theirs. It also seemed to barely scratch the surface.

When I wasn’t critiquing the plan by which some countries were experienced, or cringing at the lackluster experiences in Sri Lanka, my intended destination later this year, I was struck mostly by three thoughts:

• One was Oxenreider noting that she travels to remember her smallness in the world. I love that. It completely resonated with me as I think about some of what I try to achieve when I leave home. It’s so easy to get caught up in the details of life and it can take a brand new setting to remember how little of it matters or how unimportant so much of it is.
• I love this line. “I meet feel more American than when I’m abroad.” Despite my knocks on Americans above, it’s only when I travel that I am challenged to identify by my country of origin. It is only then that I start really thinking about the privilege and costs that come with being an American.
• Oxenreider and her husband travel with their three children and say this of the reason behind it. “We want to show them the world while they’re young. The earlier they see the world, the more normal it is for them. And the younger they start raving, the more normal it is for them. And the younger they start traveling, the better travelers they become.” So much THIS. I’m forever grateful for my grandparents giving me the opportunity to leave the country at 17 because of the pattern it set for the rest of my life. I hope I can help others in the same way.

If you’re a traveler yourself, I recommend this book as a sort of meditation about your own wandering. If you’re a parent considering traveling with young ones, I think this is a good example of how it could work and your reaction to their approach might help you know if it’s for you or not.

The Gig Economy: The Complete Guide to Getting Better Work, Taking More Time Off, and Financing the Life You Want by Diane Mulcahy

I am really surprised by how much I enjoyed this book. I picked it up as a sort work-related professional development activity to help me better understand a work style I am uncomfortable with. I found myself marking pages and telling people about this book much more than I do many novels.

What struck me in this book were the exercises around defining your values and ensuring that your personal and professional activities both reflect and support those values. There were similar activities with finances, asking if you’re funding a life you want or a lifestyle you don’t even enjoy. As someone who struggles to define long-term, concrete goals, both personally and in my relationships, the way author Diane Mulcahy frames these exercises is great for me.

By the end of it, was I ready to run out and join the gig economy? Nope. Does it still freak me out? A little. But do I get it? Definitely. I’m envious of my friends who have already adopted this employment style and no longer as concerned about them and their future well-being.

Those are my books I would recommend. Have you read anything fabulous so far this Summer? Anything you think I should check out?

My shtick of late is to always have two books going – one audio that I listen while in the car and while walking to work and a paper one to read in bed, at the gym and when I find spare time. It’s a great plan, but financially prohibitive if I buy the books. I’ve been relying heavily on my local library, with some used books thrown into the mix. I love the library. LOVE. But waiting for books to come available does has its downsides. On occasion, I find myself reading filler books. Combine that with the duds that naturally fall into any mix, and it means that a month in books can be filled with ups and downs. This past month certainly was. If you can look past the duds, though, you’ll find some real gems.

Two Boys Kissing by David Levithan

In my ongoing effort to read books on the banned list, I read Two Boys Kissing by David Levithan. It reiterated my belief that all banned books are banned out of fear, which is too bad and seemingly counterproductive to the goal of banning. After all, I never would have found out about this novel had it not been banned.

The plot idea behind Two Boys Kissing is a novel one. It’s told from the perspective of gay men who have died and are looking down over current gay boys, sort of like angels. These men who have passed on have the benefit of knowing how things were versus how they are, of knowing how the AIDS epidemic effected their population in the 1980s and of having grown. It is from their perspective that you hear about boys who are contemplating suicide or running away from home. It’s from them that you hear how wonderfully one boy’s mom handles her son’s coming out and how another boy might be able to handle his parents rejection.

I’ve never read anything like this before and really liked it.

Eventide by Kent Haruf

Eventide is the second in the Plainsong trilogy by Kent Haruf. My mom passed these on to me saying that she loved them but that my dad found them too slow. That’s sort of a mixed endorsement, so I’ve not been rushing to read the books.

I enjoyed Plainsong but it was sloooow. Eventide was the same way, but I knew what to expect this time. Do you have anything in your life that is kind of boring but which you appreciate for it’s steadiness and sameness? That’s how I felt about this book, and the series up until now. It’s  selection of well-told stories about small-town America and the exciting plot twists are barely exciting and that’s sort of lovely. In a time of Gone Girl and Girl on a Train where the focus is on the plot twist or the unreliable narrator, breaks of slow and steady are just fine by me.

Thinking in Systems by Donnella H. Meadows

I read this for work. Pro: I got paid for reading! Con: This isn’t the sort of book I would ever read of my own accord. Ever.

Last year during my annual review, I had to select a development activity that would help me in a competency related to work. I picked systems thinking and selected a suggested book because I like to read so how bad could it be? I was a sucker! After complaining about how bad the book selection was, Thinking in Systems was recommended to me as an alternative. It was tremendously better, but still a little wonky.

Did you watch The Wire? No? Stop reading this and go watch that. Seriously. Then come back and I’ll continue with what this book is about. You did watch it? Perfect.

You know the drugs dealers on The Wire? Well, they are a perfect illustration of systems thinking. In the show, the dealers create demand by giving people free or cheap access to drugs. Then they drive up the price, which makes the buyers desperate, which leads to crime, which involves the police. Both the increased use of drugs and the rise in crime has an effect on the students in the school system, which also involves police. This gets the notice of the politicians, who are in bed with the unions, and the journalists, who are trying to piece together the puzzle. Even if you stop the problem of right now, it will start again because it is cyclical. And that’s my bastardized summary of both the show and systems thinking, so now you don’t need to read the book. But seriously, you do need to watch the The Wire.

The Day I Died by Lori Rader-Day

My entire knowledge of the legal system is informed by Law & Order – both the original series and SVU. While I am not sure why I like those shows, I know I do. From that, it’s no surprise that I enjoyed The Day I Died by Lori Rader-Day. Was it a deep, literary experience that will stay with me for years to come? Nope. Was it an enjoyable distraction from everyday life? Yep.

The main character in The Day I Died is Anna Winger. She has a mysterious past that comes out in fits and starts throughout the book. She also has an expertise in handwriting that I found fascinating. (Can you really know about someone’s insecurities, impotence or predilection for drinking just from their handwriting???) Rader-Day writes a fast-paced story that is entertaining until the end.

Rogue Lawyer by John Grisham

There are certain prolific authors I count on to be consistently entertaining. I don’t require anything beyond entertainment from them. These include Michael Crichton, Jodi Picoult and John Grisham. I don’t include any of these writers on my favorite authors list, but if stuck at the airport with nothing to read, I’d happily pick up one of their books. Earlier when I said that the library sometimes leaves me in a lurch while I wait for books to become available? I rely on these same types of authors then. This time, FAIL.

John Grisham has written almost 40 books (based on a quick internet search), so I don’t feel terrible saying Rogue Lawyer was a dud. The main character is an ass and it was just unenjoyable. If you’re stuck waiting on the library or need a book at the airport, skip this one.

Journey to Munich by Jacqueline Winspear

Much like Rogue Lawyer, I picked Journey to Munich because it was available right away from the library as an audio book. I’ve always enjoyed World War II stories and I love a good mystery or spy story, so what could go wrong? Nothing really, but the only way I can write about this book is to look up what its about because I’ve completely forgotten. That, to me, speaks volumes.

Lady Chatterley’s Lover by D.H. Lawrenc

As part of my attempt to read harder, I read Lady Chatterley’s Lover, which I picked up from the library book sale last year. The copy I had was such an old edition that I was constantly reminded that this book, published in 1928, is old. Why is that important? Because it was also one of the filthiest books I’ve read in a long time, with many uses of the words f*** and c***. Here’s a quote that seems representative, though cleaner.

Renoir said he painted his pictures with his penis … he did too, lovely pictures! I wish I did something with mine.

I’m not easily offended by language – just surprised – so Lady Chatterley’s Lover was okay from that perspective. I think I probably could have told the whole story in about one chapter instead of 19, but it was a good addition to my read harder campaign. And a nice reinforcement of this quote:

There is no new thing under the sun. – Ecclesiastes 1:9

The Bookshop on the Corner by Jenny Colgan

Always on the lookout for a new side hustle, or primary hustle, The Bookshop on the Corner by Jenny Colgan has me wondering if I could open some sort of traveling bookshop. It’s like an expansion of my earlier book-inspired idea to hand out literary prescriptions, and involves little overhead. We used to have book mobiles when I was in grade school. Do you think those could still work? Only for adults, too? Serious question.

This book is about a woman named Nina who is laid off from her librarian job and spins that event into a job change in Scotland, and cute boys are involved. It’s a great book for beaches and traveling. And career inspiration.

The Golden Age by Joan London

When an author I love, particularly one who writes about books, makes a book recommendation, I listen. A while back, my mom and I attended a book reading by Will Schwalbe, author of The End of Your Life Book Club, and he suggested The Golden Age by Joan London (not that Joan London). I read it on a recent trip in Florida and it was lovely. Maybe lovely is the wrong word, because it wasn’t the happiest book, but it was beautifully written. Its about polio patients in a care home in Australia in the 1950s. That’s not something I’ve ever read much about, so I was particularly interested. Check it out.

Lilac Girls  by Martha Hall Kelly

Lilac Girls by Martha Hall Kelly wrecked me. I mean, I wholeheartedly recommend it, but it wrecked me. I read it on the beach (it’s not a beach read), while drinking too much (it’s not a book to be read while over-served) and surrounded by surgically enhanced people vacationing in Miami (it’s not a book to be read around people who freely engage in optional surgeries). And still, despite these less than perfect surroundings, love.

I mentioned earlier that I enjoy World War II novels. I do, but the terrain is well traveled and it’s hard to find stories that introduce you to something new. Lilac Girls explores a concentration camp where women were operated on to study the effects of war on people. By this I mean that terrible experiments were performed on perfectly healthy people just to answer, “What if…?” What’s interesting about this book, though, is that it s told from the perspective of several characters, including a female doctor who performed the surgeries. It takes you into head spaces you’d probably rather not enter, and I think that’s such an interesting achievement by an author.

While I absolutely do not recommend you read this on the beach with a cocktail in hand and fake breasts all around you, I do suggest that you read Lilac Girls. It’s wonderful.

Into the Water by Paula Hawkins

Earlier, I referred to this as “a time of Gone Girl and Girl on a Train.” I didn’t mean that as a good thing, though I think many people would disagree with me. Into the Water is Paula Hawkins newest book, following her success with Girl on a Train. I think this book is awful. It’s also a New York Times bestseller, so I know I don’t speak for the people on this one. But seriously. In English class when your teacher would tell you to show, not tell? Hawkins didn’t get that message. At so many points in this book there is some hurdle in the plot and the resolution is for a character to say “and then this so this,” even if it makes no logical sense at all.

I’m the dumb-dumb who read this book despite not liking Hawkins’ earlier novel. If you loved Girl on a Train, like so many people did, you might love this. If you didn’t, don’t make the same mistake I did and read this book.