The other day I went to the mall. I really don’t like malls. The crowds. The people walking slow. Paying retail. But I needed some updates for my wardrobe, so I went.
I chose a different mall then the suburban hell one I normally go to and was grateful that it was less crowded. Unfortunately I didn’t know it as well so I shopped for about an hour having to go to the bathroom the whole time.
When I headed home I still had to go to the bathroom but the drive would be short. No worries. Ha!
About 10 minutes into my 15 minute drive, traffic stopped. Like we all turned off our cars stopped. Like I got the book out of my trunk and was reading on the highway. I tried so hard to immerse myself in my book. I tried to distract myself from the bladder I knew was about to explode. No go.
I started plotting how I could pee. The side of the highway offered to place to hide. I had no container in my car in which to go. I needed to be creative.
In my trunk I had my shopping bags from the mall and a bunch of reusable grocery bags. I decided that I could pee into a plastic bag from the mall that was inside a reusable grocery bag for added security. This is how desperate I was.
I had everything set. I was seconds from putting my plan into motion. Not even that long. Then I saw the woman in the car behind me get out and I tried to act cool. She came to my car window.
“The high way is opening up,” she tells me. (Do you think from her perch in her SUV she could see what I was about to do???)
Ten minutes later I got to use a real bathroom and it was fabulous.
Lessons learned? ALWAYS go to the bathroom if you need to go. You never know when your next chance might be.
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