I am not a good dancer. I want to make that very clear. I started attending dances in an era of grunge, bad hip-hop and bump and grind music. (If I use my grade school years as a point of reference, I can also refer to the Running Man, but that’s terrible so I choose not to.) I didn’t embrace the mosh pit, I don’t have the rhythm to dance in any respectable way to hip-hop and thus I am left with bumping and grinding. My dance moves can pretty much be boiled down to:
- Slow dance swaying, a la junior high
- Jumping up and down, which has some variations but is really just jumping
- Grinding, which can include more nuanced steps but I’m willing to call a spade a spade
In summary, my dance moves are lame. But. I do enjoy dancing. While I avoid all scripted dancing (line dancing, the Electric Slide, the Macarena, etc.) because it’s seems an impossibility with my inability to keep a beat, it is fun to bust a move out on a dance floor. (Yes, I said “bust a move.” And, for the record, the song by that name was one of my first music purchases.) Currently my dancing is pretty much limited to weddings, of which I average about one a year.
I have been campaigning for dancing outings but my audience for the campaigns is Wonder Boy and he is very resistant. I think I’ve negatively affected my chances of going out dancing by trying to initiate dancing at (purely non-dance) bars, mostly while intoxicated. Ah well.
Last night Wonder Boy expressed one reason why he might not be comfortable going out dancing.
“So I think when we dance what I maybe need is a little less grinding.”
Once I stopped laughing at how funny this was, I started assessing the situation. If I take grinding out of my repertoire, all I am left with is swaying and jumping. So I am left with some choices.
Do I ignore Wonder Boy’s logic and dance as I always have? This isn’t unreasonable. He doesn’t really like to dance anyway and it’s not like he’s busting out with some Michael Jackson moves on the dance floor. Do I try to learn some current dances, of which I know none. I can always start Jersey Shore fist pumping, because that’s easy.
This year I am in two weddings, one in May and the other in October. I have five months to pacify Wonder Boy, modify my dance moves or introduce Wonder Boy to the world of bumping and grinding.
Note: So much of this sounded dirty and that was not my intention.
Kate
A comment from my mom. Aren’t moms great?
You need to watch the Bangor Sisters with Goldie Hawn going out to a nightclub with Susan Sarandon. Susan used to be a wild child with Goldie but then became an uptight, rigid mother and housewife. Goldie took her out clubbing and had her close her eyes and just become one with the music. A rather pathetic movie but that scene is stellar. No one should EVER correct their dance moves but just become one with the music and let the rest of room stare and be jealous!