A Wonder Union with Wonder Boy

Wonder Boy has asked me to be his Wonder Wife and I said yes. There are not many details (in fact, basically none) about this Wonder Union that are known yet. As time progresses, I am sure it will be the topic of many funny posts here. To date though, here are some interesting observations as an engaged Wonder Woman (ha! That was only so I could call myself Wonder Woman, but it made me very happy…)

• There are people I am friends with but whom are not really in my peer group. In my mind they are adults while I am still a kid. In all actuality, we are all adults and I need to get over it. I digress. These adults with whom I am friends are rather prudish. And now they think they can share sex jokes with me. Sex jokes! Ew.
• When most females hear I am engaged, they let out a primal yelp of Oooooooh! that must set every dog in 5 mile radius into a frenzy. The reactions of these women and what they find exciting about weddings is fascinating.
• Almost all find it their right to say something along the lines of “Enjoy it now because once you start planning the wedding it really sucks,” to which I want to say F you.
• One woman said to me, “Oh, you must be so excited to pick your colors,” which I found to be an extremely odd comment and evidence that the person did not know me well at all.
• The most common reaction of women is based on the assumption that I have been planning a wedding since birth in my head and know exactly what all the details should be. This, in fact, is not the case. When I played with my neighbor’s Barbie dolls (I only owned one and it was late into childhood) I married them off but always in sick, twisted escapades of ménage a trois. So these women ask me about VERY. SPECIFIC. DETAILS. of the affair and I, of course, have no idea how to answer them unless it involves me, Wonder Boy and about eight other people running off together in a pink, plastic car.

Now, I would like to say that Wonder Boy and I have some very good ideas about receptions and how a good one is done. We are practically party throwing experts and that’s basically what a reception is – a giant party. The most detailed part of the reception in our mind is the DO NOT PLAY music list for the DJ. After all, there is no bigger crime at a reception than playing a little Macarena. We will also be creating a PLAY list for the DJ because, dammit, this is my one chance to make sure a little Old Dirty Bastard is played at a wedding reception. Wonder Boy assures me that this cannot be the song we invite everyone out onto the dance floor with, but ah well. I am sure his Grandma would like it.

So I want your input. Aside from the Macarena, what songs should be on the DO NOT PLAY list?

This post originally appeared on Kate’s Point of View. © Kate. All rights reserved.