A few weeks back I started volunteering at an animal shelter. Now, to be clear, I started this because someone (Frank) said there were dogs, which is the hugest, fattest lie ever and in fact this shelter takes care of cats. Now occasionally there are dogs that are taken care of in foster homes but not at the actual shelter so I, as a volunteer, never see them. And so I, certified dog person, am now cleaning up after cats and trying to socialize them.

My BFs cat, who was certifiably weird when I met him (the cat, not the BF) has graduated from my deweirdification process, something which took about a year to accomplish. He no longer projectile shats or tries to bite me, both of which I consider huge progress. He also now sometimes chooses to curl up next to me, something that was an impossible notion before.

At the shelter though, despite any deweirdification experience credentials I bring, I suck. Actually, I suck ass. I am working hard and in fact volunteering for as many shitty jobs as possible so they don’t think I am a waste of space. And yesterday I successfully transferred a cat from one cage to another without him running away from me – a first – so that is progress. I guess.

But please stay tuned because I think there is a good chance I will be the first person you know to be FIRED from an unpaid job.

This post originally appeared on Kate’s Point of View. © Kate. All rights reserved.