Math is hard for some people, right? I am no whiz in math, so I understand this. However… some things in math just aren’t that hard. Take rounding for instance. Rounding is not a hard skill. Apparently for my gym it is. See the letter I received.
Month: March 2004
So I am newly back from Vegas, a town where someone or something will do everything for you. Seriously, everything.
Putting coins into the slots yourself too hard? No problem! They have paper vouchers for you instead.
Picking up women too hard for you? No problem! There are listings for prostitutes (and the actual women themselves) everywhere.
Staying away from gambling too hard for you? No problem! Every building in town makes staying away from gambling a non-option so just gamble away.
Maybe some things need some work though. Most of the (ladies) bathrooms in Vegas have those automatic sinks, towel dispensers and toilet flushers. I don’t think they work so well though. While using one toilet at the Hard Rock Casino, it flsuhed not once, not twice, not three times, not four times, but five times before I even stood up. And after it flushed properly, that made for six flushes. At anywhere from 1.6 to 7 gallons of water per flush, that makes for 9.6 to 42 gallons of water wasted on me.
Now Las Vegas annually leases 500 acre-feet of water from the Storrie Lake Water Users Association. Do you think that if they had let me flush my own darn toilet they could have saved themselves some money? And imagine all those other wasted flushes…
I have had a variety of part-time jobs: crossing guard, train conductor, cashier, stock girl, ride operator, etc.
One holiday break I had the unfortunate luck of working at Lazarus in the men’s department. All of the cashier jobs were taken so my job was just to straighten displays and tables – not fun given that:
It was the holiday season and people are slobs
Folding men’s wool sweaters all day results in hundreds of shocks each day
Men’s ties are slippery little suckers that have to be re-folded all day long
My job title for that holiday break: Fluffer and Folder.
I never knew why people (primarily men) thought this was such a funny title. The someone explained it to me.
A “fluffer” is a woman who “prepares” a male actor before appearing on screen. In porn. Naked. She gets him … excited. For a better definition, see the Urban Dictionary.
If pets had thumbs … they would rule the world. Today is National If Pets Had Thumbs Day. Consider it. Revel in the possibilities.
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A little update about James – the goof in my apartment building.
This morning I wake up to weird metallic voices in my stairwell. It turns out James is on a walkie talkie communicating with the head maintenance guys for the apartment.
I walk out of my building and someone has chosen an interesting park space. My apartment has, essentially, a u-shaped drive and people parallel park on the street between the entrance and exit drives. Last night someone decided to parallel park in a spot that completely blocked the exit drive. Then some mature person in my building decided to cover the car in salsa and put the cardboard from a case of coke under their windshield wipers.
