Doing laundry is a pain in the arse. Those of you with your own washers and dryers might not mind it – you may even enjoy it – but this is not about you. This is about people who do their laundry through coin operated washers and dryers, be they in their complex basements or at the local Laundromat.

It’s weird. You’re washing your clothes and your underwear is exposed to everyone in the room. No matter how fast you move, someone will catch at least a glimpse of your drawers.

And there are all walks of life at Laundromats. Some people are normal and just need to get some wash done. But the establishments I go to also attract some freaks. (No comments please.) An example would be the woman who told me she lost her husband’s shorts in the dryer and if I saw them to let her know. I would know they were hers from the stains on the seat from his hemorrhoid cream. Freaks. (She also approached me later to inquire if I had ever been to a gynecologist. I quickly fled the scene.)

A couple days ago I was doing laundry in my complex basement. I have it timed pretty well so I don’t leave laundry sitting in there too long. I went down to move my second load into the dryer and saw that someone had done it for me, turned on the dryer and had put my stuff from the dryer on the table down there.

My first thought was that this was great. They could have dumped my stuff on the floor. Granted, I don’t put all of my clothes in the dryer lest they shrink, so I was happy to have gotten down there when I did so I could remove some of the clothes, but how nice that the person started my load in the dryer. With their own quarters.

Then I thought about it some more. I can hear everything that occurs in my back stairwell. I know the person who changed my loads of laundry was James based on the door that slammed shut. (Refer to the blog for 11.26.03 for more on James.) James touched my underwear.

That’s sick.

I might have to do more laundry.